Just Some Thoughts

I'm a hypocrite. I tell people things but I don't believe them. I don't live by them. I tell people that life gets better. I tell people that they shouldn't self-harm. I tell people that there is someone out there that is the right person for them. I'm not sure life gets better. I still self-harm. I think I'm going to be forever alone. So why do we tell people these things? Are we trying to reassure ourselves as much as we are trying to reassure them? Do we just say it because we assume it's the right thing to say?

This is really random but I wanted to share it anyway. There's this thing at the camp I went to called ring circle. Basically we sing then share prayer requests and then pray. When we pray we cross our arms- right over left- and hold hands. Two times during camp I got to stand next to my friend (we'll call him Bob). Bob and I would link hands as someone started to pray. Every once in a while we would drop hands because one of us had an itch or something. Eventually our hands met again and he would grab my hand with his hand. He would hold my hand really tight. Bob's grip on my hand made me feel comforted. It made me feel like someone cared if only for a couple of minutes. I know that he has no clue what's going on in my life but it still made me feel like someone was there for me. I wish I could tell him that. But since I can't do that I needed to share it somewhere. So thanks Bob. It really meant a lot.